You Might Want Cash for Your Clunker If ...

(Getty Images/Ricardo De Mattos)

Cue Jeff Foxworthy accent
Your car might be a clunker if ...

• It’s wearing three (or more) different sizes of tire.

• Your bowling ball keeps falling out of the trunk, even when the trunk lid is closed.

• You need to add oil more often than you need to add gas.

• Dogs don’t bark and chase after it.

• You can only get country and western stations on the radio.

• There are mushrooms growing out of the rear-seat carpeting.

• You’ve gotten in the habit of leaving the jumper cables permanently attached to your battery.

• There’s more than one bumper sticker holding the rear bumper to the car.

• The color listed on the title is “Duct Tape.”

• Your pine-tree air freshener is a twig from an actual pine tree.

• When your CHECK ENGINE light comes on, you know from experience that you need to actually check to see if your engine is still there.

• Your ignition key also works in your lawn tractor.

• Driver’s seat upholstery is for sissies.

• Your seatbelts are made from leather.

• Your make, year and model isn’t even listed in the Blue Book.

• Your teenager doesn’t want to install an iPod dock.

• Your dog hides in the back seat instead of sticking his head out of the open window.

• Parking valets tip you to park it.

• Yugo drivers flip you off.

• You never throw out a clothes hanger; you might need it to hold up your tailpipe.

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